


Radicle

by Crowcaller



Series: Eternal Resurgence Trilogy [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angels, Bisexual Male Character, Comedy, Cults, Demons, Drama, Dramedy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, F/M, Family, Heaven, Hell, Humor, Identity Issues, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Gore, POV First Person, Politics, Religion, Strong Violence, Transphobia, faith - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:43:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9409991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowcaller/pseuds/Crowcaller
Summary: Sequel to Terminal, can stand alone.Nichael is an angel. And that's all you really need to know about him- he follows the rules. He loves Michael, his leader. He fights demons when he is called on, and otherwise tills the earth of Heaven. But then he is sent to Hell to spy on Michael's behalf, and there he meets a mysterious demon who seems intent to make him remember something he knows he shouldn't. He also gets pulled under the metaphorical wing of the egomaniacal Stacy Baruth, a possible criminal and certain mastermind, who guides Nichael to demons who don't fear angels- they worship them.Caught between who he is expected to be and who he used to be, Nichael is confused, trusted with too much power, and overall, a threat to his loved ones. As cults grow, friends grow distant, and he falls in love, nothing is clearer than one simple fact:Nichael is an angel. Nothing more, nothing less.





	1. Unfellable

**Author's Note:**

> Nichael is a great name. It's, uh, pronounced 'Nee-CHAI-elle', by the way. Channel your hebrew a bit.

I, for one, would like to state that I find the very prospect of peace to be utterly absurd. But you can’t help your circumstances I suppose. I always placed my morals below other’s orders, as is customary, and if I was ordered to give peace a chance, I had to do it.

I had been given a promotion to go with my new title of ambassador, but it was all for show and honors. Better to do it now than post-mortem. I enjoyed the ceremony as much as I could and tried not to focus on my impending death.

Instead I looked idly at the applauding audience, especially at the girls- I had never been this close to a woman before, and it was a tremendously exciting occurrence to walk up and kneel just a couple feet away from Michael’s two bodyguards. Cassiel and Victory, more beautiful up close than from hundreds of feet away, that was for sure. I took a moment to shun my impure thoughts and almost missed my role in the ceremony-

“Yes.” Was all I had to say. Just a word of acceptance. But it was incredible to just speak to Michael, and to have him say my name-

“Nichael.”

I’ve often been called blessed for the simple resemblance of my name towards Michael’s. It was only in our secondary alphabet that this even occurred, for the pronunciation was relatively different. In our primary written language Michael’s name was the longest word that existed. It contained not only his name but also all his titles- Michael the Great Eternal Wise All-Seeing Eldest Powerful and Majestic. It was hard on the hand to write out. But it was heresy not to.

When Michael had finished with his blessing, I was free to wander for a few more moments before departure. I hung around the Church Tower at first, curious to see how long my presence among the superiors would be tolerated, but I soon succumbed to my shyness and left.

I decided to go home- I lived towards the outside of Heaven, being a soldier and all, but recently had been moved to a new home near the center. This was also considered a blessing- it was a sign of the superiors approval towards me. I missed my friends though, still stuck on the outer circle. We only saw each other when we went out on patrols, and after today I would be dead and it would be a long while until we saw each other again.

There were few farms in the inner circle, and it made me very uncomfortable. Most angels lived outside, usually in tents. Buildings were scarce, especially in the woodlands that lined Heaven’s walls, and just being cramped inside the Church Tower for a few moments had made me nervous.

Now of course, as I was being sent off to die, I had been given a house to stay in. It was mostly white and home to a couple kinds of plants, and the walls were being eaten by termites. It was a real honor. I shared the place with three other angels- Fust, Enae and Dohniel- but I suspected they were only being lent the house as well.

Enae was a member of Michael’s guard, and was indiscreetly following me to make sure I didn’t try anything risky on my last day in Heaven. Fust was a known troublemaker and close friend, and I suppose he was the ‘risk’ I was supposed to be taking- a mere decoy, and nothing more. Dohniel was just a new friend, and he seemed to be around for no other reason than to take up space.

“Ambassador Nichael!” Dohniel greeted. He knew to be formal around me with my new status, but his beamish face gave away his emotions.

“Dohniel.” I nodded in return. Now that our formalities were taken care of, I relaxed and smiled at him.

“Excited, are you?” He sure was. Dohn, as was the shortened intimate of his name, was vicious warrior. But he had a much keener eye for art, one that was discouraged but never fully blocked. He loved the trekking part of patrolling much more than the fighting, and whenever returned home his mind would be full of stories, and in time, he would have many paintings to share with us. He was somewhat foolish, however, expecting me to return home at all, lest with stories for him to paint.

“Not at all. But I will keep to what I have promised.” It was hard to drop the formal speech after an entire day in the presence of the superiors. “It is my duty.”

“Ease up Nic.” It was almost second nature for Dohn to remind me to relax at this point. “Why don’t we head to the baths? One last time before your journey. Fust can come too, if you’d enjoy that more than my company.”

Dohn, among others, was fairly convinced Fust and I had coupled in the past. This was entirely ungrounded and false, but the rumors always persisted. Dohn was mostly joking with me, as was his nature, but there was always the sense that he thought part of it true. I was wholly chaste, as was any good angel, and had no impure desires.

“A bathe will ease my nerves, yes.” I said. I wasn’t very nervous, but Dohn seemed to be. Besides, with Enae on my footfalls I wasn’t going to be heading anywhere interesting.

In the outer spheres of Heaven, the bathhouses are more or less sheds over ponds, with minimal heating. In the inner circle the bathhouses were just that: houses that were baths. I had access to the best one in Heaven, the one built right into the Church Tower. The first floor was all superior housing, but the basement was devoted to the bathhouse. The walls were light grey stone, and the entire floor was a pool. It only got about chest deep, and the water was kept a comfortably high temperature.

We stripped out of our clothes, folding them and placing them in one of the designated brick storage holes. Then we got it- Dohn was right, it did help me relax a bit. I almost felt like melting the moment I got in. I couldn’t remember a time I had felt such warm water.

My time to relax was soon cut short, however, the moment Dohn pointed out the presence of the archangels.

There were four Brothers of Blood, and five archangels. And while I had seen them all, once way or another- Percial lurked in the library, Uriel was often out and about, everyone had been healed by Raphael at least once, Gabriel usually addressed the troops and I had just met Michael today- seeing them all together rightfully frightened me. I felt like I should have been bowing at the sight of them.

“Even they look relaxed!” Dohniel whispered to me, as to not bring attention to us. It was true. They all looked distracted, or else resting, and I soon put them out of my mind as long as I kept to the opposite side of the bath.

The typical purpose of resting at the bath is to gossip. And even here, among my betters, there was much gossip to be heard. I didn’t know any of the speakers or the discussed, however, so most of it was lost on me.

“Haven’t you heard about Eo and Marvial?” As usual, couplings and fellings were the height of conversation no matter what tier of society you belonged to. I guess none of us could get enough of sin and punishment.

Some of the more daring had other topics in mind- women, usually. It was a huge and purposefully daring move to discuss women so close to the archangels, especially in the sort of way these men were going on about them. The women, few as they were, were our sacred superiors. And these men were acting like nothing less than demons! I felt thoroughly offended by their lack of respect, but didn’t dare to speak up.

And even then, there was short sort of murmur among the gathered, and when I turned around I saw two of the women had come to join in the bath. As custom, everyone nodded their head down and kept entirely quiet until they had entered the water and waded over to join the archangels. I looked up- there was Cassiel again, our military chief, and Chilial, the messenger.

Along with Victory and Humility, there were four women in Heaven. They carried the divine power of knowledge that we would never understand, and it was their duty to keep Heaven strong and safe. Because of this they were never allowed to leave, of course. It was a common gripe of Cassiel that she wasn’t allowed to do any battlefield surveying or commanding, despite training all the soldiers. But it couldn’t be helped- she was not allowed to die.

It was controversial enough that female angels were allowed to be felled. There had been suggestions of inventing some kind of restorative training to cure impure angels, as apposed to felling them forever, but Michael would never allow it. So over the many moments we had lost three of our female angels, and we sat squarely on the brink of having more fallen women than Graceful ones. Because of this the remaining women were kept under very careful watch- and certainly not allowed to wander unaccompanied in the outer spheres.

Cassiel seemed to notice my stare, and I looked down ashamed. I had not meant to look so long at her, but it was true that I had never seen a woman naked before. Nudity is fairly common in Heaven, as we have rid ourselves of all sexual connotations. But the thought persisted in our weak, and the women were advised to cover themselves up when they went outside. I was not weakened at the sight of the female physique, of course, because it’s not like I had no idea what to expect- it was just odd, that was all.

But perhaps it wasn’t my staring that Cassiel had noticed. “Nichael!” She called over across the bath. “You’re our ambassador. Come over and speak with Percial. He has done this before.”

I got up and walked over, but I did so with a heavy blush and tense shoulders. I didn’t need all this attention, but of course everyone was looking at me now.

“Our Glorious Michael, may you continue to be Eternal. Gabriel the wise. Raphael, our healer. Uriel the aflame.” I stopped to bow before the Brothers before sitting down across from Cassiel and Percial.

“Percial. Cassiel.” I greeted. They did not return the custom, of course.

“We are glad to have your presence.” Cassiel said warmly. She had trained me in my moments of soldiering, sitting far away on Heaven’s wall and shouting her instructions. It was odd to see her smile after all those days of harsh words and bitter laughs.

“You set out tomorrow for the battlefield. You’ll meet a contact at the Hellmouth. If all goes well, you will be in Hell by sun high tomorrow.” Percial said. He had gone to Hell some many moments ago, and had returned with a bruise and little more. No one but the superiors knew for sure what he had been doing there, or what had happened. Not everyone even knew he had gone.

“You probably won’t die, by the way.” Cassiel said. “Not if you remember your training.” She reached out and touched my arm as she did so, and I immediately reeled it back. It may have been disrespectful, but she had been acting far too intimate with me.

“I’ll try not to die, yes.” I said. “But why am I going to Hell in the first place? What is an ambassador?”

“We’re not sure quite why you’re going yet, to be honest. Harsher war or possible peace. To disclose some information I perhaps shouldn’t, we met the demons some five years ago. Everything’s been quiet since then. We want to find out how we stand- aside from the current war, of course. Michael isn’t seeking any particular outcome, just information.”

“Who am I meeting at Hellmouth?” I didn’t even know what Hellmouth was like. Or what Hell in general was like. All I knew of demons was that they were monsters, and that they had to die. The mere idea of peace with them irked me like nothing else- of course, there had long been rumors that peace was on the horizon. I just hated the idea of it.

“A contact of Michael’s. Watch out though. She’s highly dangerous. It’s just that she’s the only one willing to sneak you in like this.” Said Percial.

“Wait- sneak me in? No one knows I’m coming?”

“It’d be far too risky to let people know. We have all of Hell’s leaders who know, and our contact. You’ll be able to blend in fairly easily, to tell the truth. Demons are very similar to us when they’re not in combat.”

His sympathizing statement prompted a sharp glance from Cassiel. “You’ll be a spy for as long as you live. We’re done something for our contact, and in exchange she’ll check in on you and carry your reports back to us. You’re staying there as long as you can manage. One thing though- the demons know you’ll be coming, but don’t know that you’re staying longer than one night.”

“I don’t think I can lie like that.” I didn’t think I could do any of this. I was trained in basic combat. But not stealth or espionage. Such actions usually got a felling here- and while I could understand the morals didn’t apply when you were working directly for the superiors, I still felt my stomach drop.

“Don’t worry,” Percial promised. “The demons are all idiots anyways.”

By the time I returned to Dohn, I was feeling too sick for the fumes of steam to have any calming effects at all. In fact, I felt like I could really go for a cold swim.

“I suppose you can’t say anything, right?”

I nodded.

“But you sure look ill. Let’s head back.”

The sun had gone down, but navigation was made easy by the light-panels that lined the roofs in the inner sphere. We made our way back soon enough, and I tried to settle into bed. But I couldn’t sleep.

It was hard to sneak out of the house. The wood was creaky and breakable, and we all slept in the same room. But it must have been deep night, for no one was awake. I slunk outside and aimlessly wandered the streets for a few moments. A couple of guards were out as well, keeping watch, and several were also pacing the streets.

I turned and made my way to the woodland. It was gated off with a series of white pained sticks that were more symbolic in nature. Only woodsmen and foragers were supposed to head into the woods. Anyone else and illicit activities would start spawning there- not like they didn’t already, of course. But the men who stalked the woods at night took care to keep hidden, so if I was accompanied I did not know.

There was a rather beautiful spring deep in the forest, right in the midst of the river. I had been there at least once, but I did not know when that had been. I just knew where it was without thinking.

The water was cold, black and green. I took off my clothes. The hair on my legs stood up the moment my toes entered the water. By the time I was in I was already shivering- but in a few sweet passings, I was used to the sensation. I lay back and closed my eyes and just floated- the night was dark, after all, and there was very little starlight.

I breathed out and it was almost like ice. I could sleep like this- and so, I did.

 

But then I was dreaming.

And while I did occasionally dream, I had been warned to wake as soon as I could- dreams were dangerous places, the realm of the dangerous succubi and the falsifying demons. Anything you saw or heard in a dream was sure to have been planted there. Even the occurrence of having a dream was a bad thing- everyone knew those who were loyal to Michael were never plagued by the illness of dreaming.

I was sitting in a field- so far, so good- but I soon noticed something was wrong. Down below, in the distance, there was a gathering of ghost lights, keenly unnatural and deadly to the serenity of the stars. And next to me there was... a girl? But something was wrong with her. I couldn’t figure it at first, but then I remembered. A child. Angels could not have children. I had almost forgotten that they even existed. Or had I ever known?

The girl child had small flowers in her hair in purple and white, and a smattering of freckles across her face. Her hair was a sort of murky blonde, and she was laughing gleefully. She turned to face me and her smile widened-

What sort of devilcraft was this?

I stood up. I was being punished for fleeing my house, that was it. I had to wake up and return back before Michael got angrier.

Usually when I dreamt, I woke by killing myself in some way. But I didn’t have my sword with me in this dream. The ring on my finger was entirely useless. I tried my wings, but they were missing too- was Michael really this angry with me? I was going to have to beg for his forgiveness.

It was hard to move in this dream. Everything was so slow, and it was like I had to move on a path. I simply wasn’t able to head off in some areas at all. Just up the hill, down the hill.

There were explosions in the sky, but they didn’t kill me. I was sitting down again suddenly, and I felt my face force itself to smile.

Had I come to Hell early? All the words that were spoken were drowned out by the explosions. I had to laugh though-this dream wouldn’t let me do anything else. Finally everything ceased: the night, the explosions, and the sky itself.

* * *

 

And here's Nichael!


	2. Hellbound

When I woke up from my nightmare, the sun was already risen, and I had the sinking feeling I was already late. Dohn, who was resting at the base of a nearby tree, confirmed my suspicions. He shook himself awake as I got up. My skin felt incredibly odd after resting in the water all night, and I was surprised to find I wasn’t ill.

“There you are.” Dohn said. “We’ve been waiting for you. Come on and hurry! I’d hate to know how Michael’s feeling- though I suppose your departure is essentially a done deal at this point. Can’t exactly fell you now- but you know, I wouldn’t risk it.”

“I had a nightmare. Explosions in the sky.”

Dohn frowned. “Prophecy?” He suggested. But we both knew only girls could see the future.

“Michael must be angry with me for waking up late.”

He ran me out of the woods, and we met up with a procession of about four angels led by Gabriel, who looked rather disappointed in my late arrival. He cracked the bones on one of his hands.

“We’re waiting at the Hellmouth.”

I didn’t know where that was, but I needn’t to ask. Everything would be taken care of, if I just trusted in Michael’s grace.

I ended up leading them, as was traditional, and I found I did know the way to Hellmouth after all- it was a familiar rock structure in the forest, off the old blackstone road.

Michael stood on the Hellmouth, and all except his brother bowed to the ground.

“Nichael. Come.” Was all he said to me, and I got up shaking. He led me away from the Hellmouth- was he going to speak to me privately, and personally? Surely I wasn’t worth that much?

But he kept going, far into the wildlands on the other end of the blackstone road that we were not allowed to go. He did not look back at me, of course, and I could not even see his breath.

Finally we came to a house mostly taken by the wild- and it was the first of many. He led me deep into what may have been another Heaven, though surely there was a divine reason we were to never pass through here. Finally we arrived at a house mostly taken by weeds. There was a fading sign in front, but my secondary language skills were too poor to read it in the short amount of time I had. There was a picture of an oak leaf on it though, that I was sure of.

“You’re meeting her here.” Michael said, taking me through the halls of the house. It was a large place with many old beds. “Can’t risk her being so close to Heaven after all.”

Perfectly wise. Michael wasn’t referring to this place, however, as the meeting spot. Instead he took me to a sub-cavern of grey rock under the house, which contained a great pit. There was no other word for it than that, though somehow this felt wrong. It was a pit, and then it wasn’t one- it hurt my head to gaze at it for too long.

“Jump in.” Michael said. “Or wait, do you have any questions first?”

Many things rushed through my head. No one I knew had ever had the chance to ask questions of Michael before. But I was stupidly stuck on the present. “Why did you choose me?”

He gave a sort of sigh of displeasure. I shivered. “ _I_ didn’t.” He said. “ _She_ did _._ ”

He motioned to the pit and I jumped without hesitation.

 

And I woke a moment later. There had been no dream, and of course, no sleep to wake from. But it had been a true awakening ever the less, and I stood up and shook off my stars to find I hadn’t moved. It was the pit that had disappeared. When I stood up and walked to the sub-cavern’s stairs, I saw it reappear out of the corner of my eye. I suppose it had hidden as to not cause me to fall in again.

Upstairs was where I began to notice differences in my surroundings. Or, indeed the moment I took step onto the stair well. The wood was younger, and whole. And the upstairs hall of the house was even younger than that, and very clean.

There were rugs on the floor and paintings on the wall. And there was a woman here too, though she was most unlike any woman I had ever known. The angels who were women were all young, lithe and beautiful. It was their holiness that gave them their beauty, of course, as any true angel knew. If I was loyal to Michael I might one day become as beautiful as them, and my scars would finally heal.

But this woman here was old- and I knew that from some deep sense in my soul, but I suppose I could’ve guessed it either ways. She had that of faded skin in the color of dusty wood, and nails of ivory.

She was a human. I had seen them before, of course, though it was our holy sanction to never speak or interact with them. She was not entirely unfamiliar in this way, but I had never been so close to one before and I found myself curious. What sort of strange rules could she live by? Did she contain any of the Grace that the angelic women did, or were the human sexes purely equal?

She was sweeping, and she seemed to acknowledge me with a snake-ish air of displeasure, but oddly not surprise.

I was mystified by her presence, but I recalled my mission and set out at once. Outside was another odd mess to my eyes- there was a sort of small farm of flowers that a young gardener was tending to, for one, but the rest of the village was of much greater interest.

I was astonished to realize I knew exactly what was happening, and that in fact my confusion was more caused by my wonder at _why_ I knew all this- the great metal skeletons that lined the roads near Heaven had never had a name before, nor had any of the buildings. And yet I knew what a car was in that same way that I understood what police was, or how the post office worked.

I seemed to be downtown, in the town that Michael had led me to. But it was shining much brighter than it used to, and there were so many people! Surely, as I looked down the broad central road, there were thirty people walking about? And in such a small section too. How many did the humans number?

The angels’ numbers would always be many, that we knew. We could not die as long as Michael didn’t, only lose our mortal vessel. But Michael protected the soul. He carried it off in our funeral ceremonies, and bottled it up and waited. And when the time came, all our dead and fallen would return to us.

But our number of alive and available to fight was steadily dropping. We had entered a good period in the recent moments, but previously the demons had wreaked us with our own swords, and ripped our Grace out and smeared our blood onto their skin. I did not know our current standing in population, but I also didn’t know every angel’s name- surely that was a good sign?

But if I had to guess, I’d go with a number somewhere above three-thousand. We had had a more divine number once, the Brothers say, five-thousand perhaps. Fifty-five thousand, even. Fifty-five thousand five-hundred and fifty-five? That’d be perfect.

I supposed my next task was to return to the Hellmouth, or possibly Heaven. Unless I was to wait here for my contract to arrive, instead of seeking her for myself? I knew she had to be a demon, so would it really hurt to cut out the waiting and just head off to the Hellmouth?

I was just hoping she’d recognize me. I had a terrible sense for demons, especially when they disguised themselves. It had been a series of flukes that I pushed me into the level of renown I now held. I hadn’t meant to-

Steady now. All good angels forgot the unnecessary. And whatever else Michael told them to.

The road back to Hellmouth was treacherous and winding. The blackstone was now rampaged on by cars. I recalled the pattern of their movements just in time to run aside from a particularly fast red one. I knew their name, sure, but most other details were lost on me. They weren’t alive, of course, but the foggiest of thoughts I had about their movements- explosions and black liquid and people’s feet- made no sense at all.

I must have dreamt this somewhere. By the time I had come to the forest path of Hellmouth- worn out, a complete subversion of the newer state of everything else in this alternate world- I was almost sure I was living a lucid dream. Maybe this was my test after all. Maybe there was no absurd idea of ‘peace’ getting tossed around. It had surely just been a lie to get me to come out and- and-

Dream? Nothing sounded more sinister. But Michael had to be trusted since, well, he was _Michael_. He literally was unable to be wrong.

And of course, if I was dreaming, it wouldn’t be able to explain the sudden pain I felt as I fell to the ground- nor the cold, metallic sound of a knife meeting the edge of my neck.


End file.
